Day 30 – Your Love’s Not Like a Blackjack Weed (Opposite to “My Love is Like a Red Red Rose”)

Today’s Prompt: Rewrite each line of a poem you like, replacing each word (or as many words as you can) with words that mean the opposite… Did I mention that they included “short” before “poem” in the prompt? No? Probably because I overlooked that and only saw it now – after wrangling half the evening with a 4-versed poem…

I used Robert Burns’ “My Love is Like a Red Red Rose”, and although it felt at times as though I was hacking it apart, it was also fun changing it so drastically! It turns out to be jolly hard to take one thing that rhymes and change the meaning into the opposite, and still make it rhyme… The original is included at the end.

Your Hate’s Not Like a Blackjack Weed

by Angel Dawson

Your hate’s not like a blackjack weed,

All shrivelled, gone to seed,

Your hate’s not a cacophony

So harshly blown on reed.

While I’m a grumpy old banshee

Your shallow loathing shows,

And you will hate me, you old fool,

Where deserts overflow.

 

Where the deserts overflow, old fool,

Nor the clouds bounce from the moon

And you will hate me, you old fool,

When the drops of death get spooned.

 

Misfortune strike, wretch of many,

Misfortune strike the clock,

You would not bother leaving, wretch,

Though it were round the block.

ImageMy Love is Like a Red Red Rose

By Robert Burns

My love is like a red red rose

That’s newly sprung in June:

My love is like the melody

That’s sweetly played in tune.

As fair art though, my bonnie lass,

So deep in love am I:

And I will love thee still, my dear,

Till a’ the seas gang dry.

 

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,

And the rocks melt wi’ the sun:

And I will love thee still, my dear,

While the sands o’ life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only love,

And fare the weel a while!

And I will come again, my love,

Thou’ it were ten thousand mile.

~oOo~

I have to say that I far prefer the original, but it was fun playing around with it and having to stretch my poetic imagination! It turned out a bit nonsensical and dark.

And that brings me to the end of April and my first NaPoWriMo challenge! Not quite 30 poems, but not too far off either. To those of you who have read my verses, thank you. I hope that you’ve enjoyed them.

I’m not sure what May will bring – but we’ll see soon enough!

About One Day Closer To My Dream Life

Hi, I'm Angel, and I'm so glad you stopped by. Although Life took me down another road, since childhood I have loved writing and the power of language to evoke feelings and memories, to communicate with the hundreds of people we come into contact with and build relationships with along the way, and to impart ideas with. It's high time that I reunite with my old pleasure and passion, and start writing down all those words that are rushing around aimlessly in my head, jostling with each other to be heard. Sometimes we most fear doing what we love most in case it doesn't work out as we hope, but sometimes we just need to take that chance regardless! Who knows, maybe those words and plots and characters will take me on a journey that others will get to share with me, and lead me one step closer to living my dream life... I hope so!
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